there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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