my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
where am i from again
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
