kristin has been a bad kristin
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
