he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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