That's intense
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
