I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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