You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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