I just pynch a tree in the face
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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