your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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