i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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