so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize