jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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