Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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