I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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