That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
sex in a hospital.. check
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
