I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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