okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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