sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
