if i can run in heels then i can drive
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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