do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize