can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
try to milk me bitch
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