love makes seman taste better
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm sobbing to NWA
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
