So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
