You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
