I'm pants shitting drunk right now
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
