It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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