its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
