I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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