Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
