There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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