dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
