he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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