If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
