My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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