eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize