wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
