my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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