i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
