Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
