i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Still dying that you shit outside
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize