Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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