I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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