Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize