Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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