I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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