don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
