I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
