You can't motorboat a personality
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
