I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
