Tell her she can't have a vagina
i love accidental penises.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
