What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize