just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
