If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
why is half of my head shaved?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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