my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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