ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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