sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize