i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
