maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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