Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
