Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize