I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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