i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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