yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
