Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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