Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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