My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
