my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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