i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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