where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize