STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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