Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
false alarm, still single
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize