I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
