hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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