I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
