wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
