Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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