My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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